MAY 2023

Teddy!  Or what’s left of him…..he’s my buddy, my comfort and my playmate.  Getting thinner by the day he can be trailed all around the garden to play, returned to my kennel for snoozing with, or alternatively be left out in the rain to get a good soaking but whatever state he is in he never fails to be my friend.

Originally I believe he belonged to one of the elder of the miniatures but they never really bonded so when I came upon the scene Teddy was given to me.  He loves a good tussle but is also quite happy to have a good cuddle.

I have successfully removed most of his torso as his weight was a little on the heavy side especially when wet.  He never complained but when I first decided to reduce his circumference the Mrs was not pleased at having to comb the garden every so often collecting  bits of white fluff from every corner.  She considered it a mess whereas I thought it looked quite pretty. At first she tried to fatten Teddy up again by stuffing it back inside him and sewing him up but I was much more successful at reducing Teddy’s weight than the Mrs has ever been trying to reduce hers (a sore subject in this household) so she has now become resigned to Teddy’s  svelt form.  I have been threatened that if I remove any more from Teddy he will be unable to play with me anymore.  He does look a little deflated now so I have left his limbs in tact so that we can have a good game of hauling him round the garden but the Mrs has refused to allow me to invite him indoors as she says his aroma is worse than mine and he is for outdoor play only.  The Boss thinks I am a big baby for setting such store on a playmate when I have himself to entertain me but I like to keep my options open for when the Boss is ‘resting’ his eyes or training them on the square box indoors – then my Teddy is there, ready and waiting to play.

 

APRIL 2023

Isn’t it time for my walk yet????

I patiently wait for the Boss to complete his perusal of the daily news, finish his cup of coffee or his nap or whatever is stopping  him from taking me for my walk.

Patience is a virtue the Mrs tells me, not sure about virtue, I would prefer a rawhide “tue” any day.

Back to the daily walk - if the sun is shining there is never a problem.  Usually the Boss is as enthusiastic as me to get outside but if a few raindrops fall from the sky the story is oh so different.  He does not like the rain or grey days, you know the type - low cloud and dismal outlook - these are the days he disappears into his workshop and it’s a devil of a job to get him to come out.  I have perfected a few ploys to encourage him to spend time with me.  These include fetching my ball and dropping it at his feet while looking encouragingly into his eyes and wagging my tail.  Another is standing direcly in front of him and staring unblinkingly at him for long moments  of time or until the Mrs dissolves into giggles and says “I think Beau is trying to get your attention” - I can always rely on her for back up.  Finally I resort to touch as per this photo.  I can remain in this position for any length of time, occasionally changing paws, until the weight of my paw gets to him, making his foot ache, at which point and with encouragement from the Mrs he eventually gives in and I get to go on my walk.   Now that is patience…….

 

MARCH 2023

What a surprise to wake up to this morning.  I thought my colour vision had become faulty as at best I can only discern differing shades of yellow and blue but this morning everything had turned white, no colour at all.  I felt all right and figured things must have been OK for the Boss to wake me up with a smile on his face and asked me if I wanted to go outside.  Pondering his quizzical look I emerged from my bed to investigate and discovered the reason as my paws touched something they had never experienced before.  I gingerly tried to tip toe around the edge of the building on ground I recognised but was soon forced to step into this white stuff.  What a shock - it was soft and seriously cold, especially on my paws and my rear end when I was requested to sit.  The Boss says it’s called snow and amazingly it can be picked up!  The Mrs asked me to fetch some of it but when I try to find the handful she threw it had disappeared into the masses of white stuff all around me.  Once I realised it was safe to walk on I soon relaxed and began to play and I did manage to catch one handful which landed on my head, unfortunately my tongue is not quite long enough to reach it but apparently it will melt away without me doing anything.  When trying to recognise and find all my favourite haunts in the garden I spent a fair amount of time burrowing beneath it with my nose to try to catch all the usual smells but the snow kept clogging up my nostrils so a quick snort was in order.  I need to keep my eyes semi closed to stop the flakes falling into them however it does so very softly, not at all like rain which can sting if it is coming down in sheets.  Talking of sheets, that is what this snow reminds me of – those large white wet sheets the Mrs pegs out on the washing line. Those ones that I am banned from getting near, am not allowed to pull on or play with and are then taken away after they become dry.  I wonder how much longer I will be allowed to play in this snow before it is magically removed from my reach……

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FEBRUARY 2023

I am waiting patiently for someone to play with me, trying to appear nonchalant as if I am not worried either way but, believe me, I will be ready in an instant, perfectly balanced to react to the slightest movement which may result in a good game.  The Mrs tiptoes carefully around me but I am keeping an eye on her.  The Boss ignores me as he has more important things on his mind.  I check to see if he is dressed in green or camouflage which means a really good day out when work is far more interesting than play but alas he is in his overalls which mean tinkering in the garage where I am allowed to watch but not help.  That leaves the Mrs and she is still pretending to ignore me but I know her game – she will suddenly swoop in and snatch my teething ring with a view to throwing it as far as she can so I can retrieve it for her to throw again...and again…and again….

Rest assured I will never tire of this game but she often does.  I live in hope that one day she will meet my exacting standards but exercise is not her favourite pastime, she is more into wielding brushes and sitting and gazing at the view to replicate it on paper, whereas I would prefer to run all over the countryside, sniffing, rolling, fetching and retrieving with the wind lifting my ears and if there is a bit of water around that’s all the better – I’m in and splashing about.  It’s a dog’s life but someone has to live it!

 

JANUARY 2023

Just chillin’.  I find this is sometimes the most comfortable position for lazing around and being playful but the only thing against it is that everyone else is upside down.  I like rolling about playing and in the summer, when it is really hot, it allows the cool air to get to my tummy.  I can adopt this prone position if I wish to ingratiate myself with the Boss.  It shows I trust him and would like him to give me a good tummy tickle which I love.

The Mrs always looks askance at me and would prefer me to be the correct way up and not displaying myself in such an uninhibited way. She believes certain bits of my undercarriage are undercover underneath for a good reason and should not be on display in such gay abandon.  However she too will laugh and give me a good tummy rub if I wriggle long enough in front of her. 

Sometimes the wriggling makes her nose wrinkle and I have learnt that this slight flaring of her nasal passages usually has significant repercussions for me and means a trip to the bathroom is in order with copious amounts of dog towels and shampoo.  Hence I am invited to jump into the white boat and suffer a good soaking with the shower and a foaming rub all over with bubbles.  After the final rinsing the Mrs can be quite mindful of my privacy and the shower curtain is pulled across concealing my presence.  Wondering why she has suddenly seen the need to give me a bit of private time in the bath I am seized with the sudden need to shake all the excess water from my fur.  At this point she is usually busy laying my towels out across the floor and when she feels I have had enough privacy and shaking she pulls the shower curtain back and I am invited to jump out onto the towels while she rubs my coat dry.  I love this part and help her by holding the towels in my mouth and rolling all over the place pulling the towels with me and getting in a right pickle.  This usually ends with yet another tummy rub but without the nose wrinkling which is always a good sign – peace and love.

 

NOVEMBER 2022

I am guarding my ice cream cone.  I live in hope that one day it may well produce some tasty ice cream with a nice crisp biscuit cone but something tells me it will never happen.  This was a present from the Miniatures when I was a baby and was filled with frozen water to soothe my teething.  The Mrs has long since stopped filling it with frozen water and just lets me play with it empty.  It is one of the few things I treasure and have not chewed to destruction.

I have yet to learn how to share my toys….the Boss is teaching me to fetch vermin he has shot and I don’t mind giving that up as he seemed incredibly pleased with me when I recently retrieved and gave give him the pigeon he had shot.  I am not old enough yet to attend his game shoots as I get very excited when I meet other dogs and people and until I calm down a bit he says I am not in the right frame of mind to completely obey his commands or the commands of the Mrs.  I am still learning the correct etiquette when exposed to social situations but it is very hard when all I want to do is play.

The Mrs refuses to play fetch with me if I will not give up the ball – I must learn to share.  The Miniatures recently gave me a large round ball with two handles sticking out either side.  This was to instigate a pulling game but I found it a bit annoying as I couldn’t get the ball in my mouth so one evening when the Boss was engrossed in his ball playing sports on the TV and the Mrs was rolling her eyes ignoring the sport preferring to read her book, I chewed off the two handles so I could get the ball into my mouth easily.    I immediately took it to the Mrs to play.  She looked confused, not recognising my toy but then she spotted bits of red rubber all over the floor.  My plan to show I was learning to share backfired badly as she was very cross about what she considered to be a ruined toy despite my obvious joy in now being able to get the whole ball into my mouth.

The Boss was sympathetic as the ball was confiscated, the mess on the floor swept up and I was put to bed.   I will stick to ice cream in future. 
 

OCTOBER

I have been trained to “fetch my bowl” when it is feeding time.  The Mrs taught me this trick.  The trick is attached to another training session which started with the order to “stay”.  My bowl is filled with my favourite food, a pastime that is watched avidly by me and sometimes accompanied by a bit of dancing around on my part however once the bowl is full I then have to “sit” and “stay” in place while the Mrs walks around the garden deciding where to put my bowl.  I can’t say she exactly hides it but it is never in the same place twice……she makes it a game…..one which I am not always amused by!  Once she has placed the bowl to her satisfaction she returns to me – this can sometimes take up to five minutes if she is distracted by something else in the garden like a stray weed or a newly ripened raspberry.  She praises me for sitting and staying, even though she knows how much my stomach is desperate for food she makes sure I know she is pleased with me but I am not sure if she is aware of how impatient I am with her.  Once she is satisfied I have understood how good I am for staying she points to the bowl and says “find him” and I race around the garden following my nose until I come upon my food bowl full of yummy dinner. 

As her memory is nowhere near as good as mine she has now invented this new trick to “fetch my bowl” as she obviously can’t remember where she put it.  Hence I return carrying the bowl to be praised and patted which instigates the above feeding session.  I have however, been known to fetch my bowl on numerous odd occasions throughout the day in the hope of fooling her into doling out an interim feed.  This does not seem to work so her memory may not be as bad as I thought it was and there is no way I can fool the Boss as he is very strict with my feeding regime but I am a Labrador and always live in hope of receiving food……..