JUNE 2022

My first visit to the Village Store.  Another new experience but I had to wait outside as the Mrs said I would not be welcome inside.  I had a sudden dip in confidence and thought my popularity was waning……..why would I not be welcome but apparently this is The Rule.  Dogs are not allowed in shops unless you are special and although I am wearing my medallion I am apparently not special enough to be allowed in.

Rules are something I am gradually learning about at home.  One rule is I am not allowed on the furniture – this is apparently completely forbidden.  When I was small I used to sit on the Bosses lap every evening but now I am too big for that so I have to be content with sitting on his feet instead.  I did try sitting in his chair once when he had gone off to hit little white balls and left me behind but my devotion was not received well by the Mrs who was also left behind!  More recently the miniatures persuaded me onto the sofa with them but we got caught and not only did I get a telling off, so did the miniatures so everyone joined me in the dog house for a while.  Another rule is no bone chewing in the house.  I can’t understand why the Mrs dislikes my nice meaty, sinewy, succulent knuckle bones but she pulls a face every time I appear in the door way with one in my mouth only to be told to ‘take it outside’. 

The walking rule means no pulling on the lead when we go out.  I am not allowed to take the Mrs for a walk, only she is allowed to take me…...you get my drift?  The command ‘heel’ and the small tugs on my lead mean I have to walk sensibly next to her and not four feet in front.  I would like to stop at every small scent to add it to my repertoire and even leave a few of my own but the Mrs says I have no excuse for that behaviour, if I was a guide dog for a blind person they would not like to be constantly stopping or even bumping into posts because I could not control my nose or my bladder.  When I am off the lead it is a completely different story but that is for another day…..

It has been quite hard learning all these things but I am happy as the Boss and the Mrs seem happy with my progress meaning I get even more love and cuddles.  So getting back to the shop rule, I don’t mind not being special and having to sit outside as many people stop to reward me with a lovely pat and a chat…..some rules are easy to follow.

 

MAY 2022

They call me Medallion Man!  I have no idea what that means except I now wear this gold medallion and it is really annoying.  It bangs on my metal feeding bowl every time I dive into my food so the Mrs knows I am making a bit of a pig of myself by the rate of “dings” it makes against the side of the bowl….. can’t get away with anything now.  Apparently I must wear it because if I stray away from the curtilage of the dwelling (their words, not mine) whoever finds me can look at this medallion and contact the Boss and the Mrs and instruct them on how to find me, but let me tell you I have no intention of going anywhere too far from my food bowl and the cuddles I get here.

The medallion is attached to a collar which I must also wear from now on except, the Boss tells me, when I will be working with him on the shoot when it will be removed for safety reasons.  Apparently it is dangerous for a dog to wear a collar during this work as it can end up strangling me if it gets caught on something in the undergrowth.  Although this work will not be for some time as I am too young yet I was relieved that at least I will get some reprieve from this irritation.  I keep scratching at it but it refuses to come off and makes even more jingling noise so I put up with the collar and the medallion and might just produce a bit of a swagger to go with the image……I do have a very hairy chest.

 

April 2022

BEAUREGARD’S BLOG:    Since I last spoke to you I am feeling a lot more confident around the house and garden and the Boss says I have got a lot heavier.  He knows this as I sit on his lap most evenings watching the box on the wall while the Mrs complains about yet another repeat episode of Last of the Summer Wine.  The Boss smiles to himself while clutching the TV controller and I am content as long as he continues tickling my ears.

To keep me occupied I have also accumulated a number of toys, some of which I have been given, some found, and some which the Mrs confiscates because she says they are bits of the garden which should not be brought in doors.  They look like toys to me and I have great fun shredding, chewing and generally demolishing them, after which the Mrs descends upon me with dustpan and brush and I am persuaded to remove myself from indoors to outdoors.

This yellow ball was a found object in the garden but one the Mrs did not seem to mind me playing with.  The snapshot here is the first time I played with it and I found a hole in the top which seemed to blow air at me when I pushed it with my nose or tried to pick it up in my mouth.  I soon got the hang of the game but after a long play chasing it around the garden, grabbing , chewing and biting it as hard as I could, it changed into a flat pancake and lost the ability to roll.   The Boss watches with amusement as the Mrs saves the day each time this happens by finding a straw to fit into the hole and blows hard to return it to its original shape.  She says she is definitely not letting her chops touch it after mine have - hence the straw but once it is round again she is not averse to throwing it for me to fetch so that I can start the game all over again.  She said occasionally some things filled with hot air need to be gradually deflated and as the Boss is so keen on repeat episodes so the game goes on…

 

MARCH 2022

Hello, may I introduce myself.  My name is Beauregard but as this is a bit of a mouthful for a small chap like me I have requested it be shortened to Beau.  You may have known Bert my late distant second cousin once removed whom I am told I greatly resemble.  In fact he is so removed that he is no longer here but I definitely get a faint feeling of his existence and the love that was felt for him which is a great comfort after leaving my own real parents.

I only came to live here a couple of weeks ago and am still investigating my new owners the Boss and Mrs, the extended family and also the house and garden.   Certain parts of the house are regarded as no go zones for me and in the accessible parts I have be accompanied at all times on account of my inability to completely control my bladder yet.   I only have to pose a certain way or move several feet from my last resting place to have either the Boss or the Mrs jumping up from their resting place, scrutinising my anatomy and undercarriage and accompanying me to the garden to see if I will perform.  If I can manage to squeeze out a drop or indeed spend a very large penny then praise if heaped upon my head and pats and cuddles are given with free abandon.  I think I am getting the hang of this as I do so enjoy being petted.  As for the other I think it’s a bit indelicate to go into too much information here but I will point out that each deposit is quickly disposed of, so much so that I can hardly remember where I last did it, however as long it is in the garden somewhere then the praise and cuddles are well worth it.

I have had my first visit to the vet and she gave me the needle, although I have to say I didn’t feel a thing but the Boss nearly passed out, apparently he doesn’t like needles.  I gave him a licky kiss and told him I was fine.  We wobbled out of the door and went straight home for a restorative bowl of puppy food and a stiff brandy (for him).

 

FEBRUARY 2022