JULY2024

 

I am preparing for the holidays: sun hat, sun specs, nails done, ears done, bathed, brushed and perfumed and ready to accompany the Boss in his transport to spend some time in a foreign land.  I have yet to pack my mate Teddy and my favourite blanket but I am sure the Mrs will take care of that for me.

The Mrs mentioned having her nails done too but not at the same grooming spa I went to.  The Boss said he wanted to take some nails and a hammer too, in case he needed to mend something, but completely missed the point when we mentioned manicure and polish….

By the time you read this I shall probably have returned home with only distant memories of baguettes, bones and bonjours but I shall have the shooting season to look forward to with lots of exercise and restocking of the freezer with game I have retrieved.

My kindest regards to you and I do hope you have had a good summer holiday too.

JUNE 2024

Snoozing with Teddy!  There is nothing better after a long run in the fields, a splash in the lake and a ride home in the jalopy.  Then search the garden for wherever I left my dear friend Teddy, pick him up carefully by the ear and smooch around to find a suitable place to collapse with him and catch a few Z’s. 

 

This is a favourite pastime of mine and usually I am left to enjoy my dreams unless certain biological type events overtake the situation when the Mrs either trips over me because I am laying in the way or my flatulence escapes and causes her to evict me from the vicinity toute suite!

 

I don’t know how I get away with dozing after exercise so easily cos when the Boss does the same after his long walk on the golf course, a few splashes in the lake after a long drive (golfers speak) and a ride home in his transport the Mrs gets a bit antsy when he crashes in the chair and spends the afternoon catching Z’s.  Must be cos I’m so sweet but the Boss takes sugar in his tea……..

 

MAY 2024

Water, water everywhere.  Even I, who never really minds being outside in the rain or plunging into water of any temperature, have found the continuous downpour a bit much.  The grounds are really squelchy and the lake is overflowing on the spillway like Niagara Falls. The Boss and the Mrs decline to venture outside much in the inclement weather as do all the other members of this tiny hamlet where I spend my holidays.  Not another dog in sight and only cows that brave the rain and stare at me from the other side of the fence.

The upside is I can lie beside the roaring fire and toast my tummy, occasionally rolling over to warm the other side some warmth.  Alas among the good things in life there is always a situation that doesn't go to plan.....dinner time.  I have been relaxing with the Boss in front of the fire enjoying the heat but now I want him to wake up and open the door so i can retrieve my dinner bowl from the rain-soaked garden.  My tummy is telling me it is time for my dinner, but his eyes are still closed and his breathing too even for him to be aware of my hunger and the Mrs is not around to give him a nudge so I have no alternative but to gently lean on his foot to bring him back to awareness of my plight and have patience to wait for his tummy to tell him the same as mine.

 

April 2024

I was warned last month that I would have to smarten up my overall approach to personal hygiene and grooming if I was going to be allowed to travel in my newest mode of transport.  One in which there is no dividing walls between me and the drivers, ie: the Boss and the Mrs.  The Mrs especially is keen for my perfume to change and today I was given a very different and special “treat” which the Mrs told me that I would love and that it might become a regular thing in the future. . . . . Yes I have been “Spa’ed”.  No I have not spelt that wrongly, I am still completely whole, in case you were wondering…..

In total ignorance of what was afoot I was quite excited when she suggested I get into the back of her vehicle, something which I am seldom allowed to do, and off we went towards the big green expanse with holes, bunkers and flags where I know the Boss plays with small white balls but which I am not allowed to experience, despite my two favourite things being participated in – walking and retrieving balls.  However we stopped short of anticipated recreation and I was delivered into the hands of a delightful young lady who seemed very pleased to see me while the Mrs left me there and dissappeared with a look of relief.

Well, what can I tell you!  By the time the Mrs returned an hour later with a slightly worried but expectant look on her face I had been shampooed, combed, trimmed, pedicured, cleaned, blown dry and totally groomed to within an inch of my life.  Despite losing a significant amount of my fur coat and having a completely new perfume around my person I am strangely quite pleased with my new look. I feel very precious now as you can see from the photo where I am showing off my newly trimmed nails.  I point blank refused to have them painted………

Perfect Pooch Grooming, SSJ 

MARCH 2024

On account of me being a good boy and not digging up the front lawn, telling the truth and not complaining about the Boss selling my transport wagon out from under me I have been given a new Teddy to accompany me in my games of throwing, chasing, jumping and shaking, which I know Teddy just loves.  He doesn’t say much but he also doesn’t run away when I pounce on him so I am fairly sure he enjoys it as much as I do. 

There is the slight mystery surrounding the whereabouts of old Teddy who, the Mrs commented on last sighting, resembled an old rag.  I fear I have detected a trail leading towards the dustbin but the Mrs acts very innocently when I look her in the eye so I will just have to swallow her story of him going to Teddy heaven and concentrate and my new buddy.

My new transport wagon is very different from my last and I fear I will have to be a little more careful with my hygiene and cleansing routines.  I can see a range of deodorant and toiletry products heading my way which is rather scary.  The Mrs has already tried to smother me in vehicle protective boot liners which I am not allowed to rearrange or disassemble.  Goodness knows how the Boss will fare with slinging his usual paraphernalia in the back with me.  I can almost hear the shrieking from here…. But as long as I have my mate Teddy with me I shall survive…..not sure about the Boss!

 

FEBRUARY 2024

I’ve been given the third degree…..the Mrs said…look into my eyes and tell me the truth:  Was it you? Have you been digging in the front lawn? Did you forget where you buried your bone? 

 Of course I answered NO to all of the above.  Firstly I am not allowed out onto the front lawn unaccompanied in case I see another K9 and rush out to play without permission.  Secondly, I certainly would not forget where I buried my bone!  I think the Mrs is projecting her bad memory onto me!  My nose tells me instantly where I last buried it and it was definitely not in the front lawn.  Besides which the holes are not big enough to hide one of my bones and I seem to remember the same thing happening on our neighbours lawn last year when I was looked at in a suspicious manner…..

 Luckily for me the Boss had his superior knowledge confirmed when the our kindly neighbour GR set up a wildlife camera to get shots of the culprit which turned out to be what the Boss said …. a visiting badger.  After I got blamed, the crows got it in the neck as the likely vandals but it was, as the Boss said all along, a badger looking for worms.

 The badgers are back again this year!  This time they have left our neighbours lawn untouched but have gone to town on ours instead.  The verges bordering the gardens down hill from us also have holes dug into them and the daffodils seem to be a bit flat in certain areas.   The worm eating Billy Badger has a lot to answer for, but for once I have been declared in the clear for this particuar misdemeanor and given a treat for telling the truth.

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2024

Happy New Year to you all.  I hope you had a drier Christmas than me?  It was very foggy and wet where I was for the holidays.  Not that it really worries me as I have a warm furry rain coat continually around me.  Sadly, although poor deflated Teddy has a fur coat, he has no insides and no raincoat so if left forgotten in the garden he often gets very soggy. That doesn’t stop me from bringing him inside to dry off – much to the Mrs irritation.  She is quite happy for me to play with him when he is dry but when wet she is not happy for him to accompany me indoors.  The Boss does not mind what state Teddy is in but then as the Mrs says he doesn’t do the housework.  It’s all very well having wet Teddy in the back of the Boss’s chariot but that is the only place that he is allowed “in doors” until he is dry – Teddy that is, not the Boss!.

 I had a very special second birthday during the festive season holiday away, when I inadvertently received two great gifts.  This came about because the Boss, being a dedicated carnivore, thought he had selected a haunch of venison for his Christmas dinner.  The Mrs defrosted and unpacked to prepare for the cooking and remarked how thoughtful the Boss had been in packing two legs together.   In an instant the Boss seemed to shrink and gulp and rushed to inspect the joint.  Aghast he deflated, realising his Christmas dinner would not turn out to be the magnificent feast he had hoped.  He had inadvertently picked up a package containing two front legs instead of one haunch which meant that the Boss and the Mrs just about managed to get a meagre scraping of meat on their plates for their Christmas dinner while I reveled in the fact that I would have a large bone for my Christmas dinner and also one for my Birthday celebrations!!..... 

 After a lecture from the Mrs regarding labeling and reading, the Boss apologised and commented that “at least the dog was happy and the Christmas pudding almost made up for it”.