AUGUST/SEPTEMBER

Here I stand — or rather, sit — Sentinel. Much like the Egyptian Sphinx, I guard the citadel, ensuring my master and the Mrs are safe while they admire my noble profile. Perched high upon this stone plinth, I feel rather grand, though I can’t help thinking I should be cloned so that I might occupy the adjacent one as well.

This ancient doorway, with its studded timber and weathered stone, isn’t my home in France — though the masonry feels familiar. It belongs to the medieval castle ruins of Eymet, a 13th‑century bastide town where I’m temporarily residing with a somewhat reluctant female companion. She has, so far ignored me, rebuffed my advances and even voiced her displeasure at my attention. Still, I refuse to let that dent my ego.

So here I pose in imperial fashion, hoping at least to impress the Mrs on this fine morning outing — to remind her that I am, above all, a lovable and loyal companion. I’m not sure how long I can maintain this exemplary behaviour, but as long as she keeps treats in her pocket, I shall persevere.

 

JULY 2026

Please, please can we go to the lake so that I can jump in and swim around in the water to cool off and fetch branches out for you????

As you have probably already guessed, this is my pleading look, chin resting on the arm of the Bosses chair, ears flat and soppy looking, eyes big and staring straight into his eyes…….

I can maintain this look for quite a long time – long enough for the Boss to feel guilty that he he’s been dozing while I’ve been patiently waiting for signs of life.  The moment he stirs, I activate the full-strength stare, willing him to give in and take me swimming.

Occasionally my technique fails and I have to appeal to the Mrs in a similar manner which usually elicits a response such as “your dog wants to go for a walk, probably to the lake”.   Eventually one of them cracks and I get taken to the lake where I can dive in and swim around to cool off and play.  The only trouble is the Boss then gets involved in untangling all his fishing gear and dangling it into the water, in which case I am banned from swimming near him and have to remain clear of his rods. It’s a fishy business so I paddle around the other side of the lake and test out the theory that I can catch a carp faster than he can………

 

JUNE 2026

Did you know I was a contortionist in a former life….. 

I know this looks odd but believe me in this recent heatwave this method of sleeping with my head and ear on the cool tile floor is most advantageous.  The next step would be to put my entire tummy, head and neck on the tiles and the step after that is to take a dip in the lake and after that a hosing down with a cold hose pipe. 

You will be pleased to hear I have shed most of my under fur (the insulating layer that allows me to swim in winter without freezing).  The Mrs is not so pleased as so much came out in this heatwave she felt it was unnecessary to buy any carpet!  Most of the bird’s nests in this area are lined with my fur, they can’t believe how generous I am with my undercoat. 

Did you know that the name for heatwave over here in France is “canicule” which closely resembles my canine genes.  When I first heard the word, I thought it was all about me and preened in hearing myself spoken about so much.  When the Mrs explained that what everyone was talking about was the heat wave, I was somewhat disappointed but cheered up when it could also be explained as “dog-days”.  All you want to do is sleep like a dog when it is so hot which indeed both myself, the Boss and the Mrs did during the hottest hours, however on closer inspection upon breaking the word “cani cule” down in translation it appears they may be talking about my bottom from which, on occasion, surreptitious eruptions have made me rather unpopular in this house.  So given these varying descriptions I think it best to stay out of the heat and keep a “cool” profile!

MAY 2026

She has stolen my bed!!  Well not actually stolen but usurped may be a better word.  Laying their defying me with her watchful gaze.  Meet Cookie, sometimes known as The Cookie Monster owing to her rather aggressive attitude to dogs she does not know.  She came to stay for a few days.  I can’t really call her a girlfriend as we have a sort of love/hate relationship – I love her but she hates me - can you believe it???

When she is not actively ignoring me we occasionally play chase but when things get a bit too energetic she has the knack of retreating under a table or a chair where she knows she has the advantage of size as I am too big to follow her.    Here we have a stand-off.  She knows well enough that this is my new bed and she has no business laying on it but we have had a bit of a runaround so a rest is required.  As soon as she is on the move again I shall make it my business to regain rights over my new bed and be sure to stretch out covering most of it so she has no option but to cuddle up to me if she wants to use it again.  I am not top dog for nothing – I have my wily ways to win her over…….

 

APRIL 2026

I went travelling with the Boss and the Mrs - they have bought me a new kennel. It’s white, has wheels and can travel wherever I want to go. There is room for my bed and also one for the Boss and Mrs who are lucky enough to sleep inside with me. The Mrs wasn’t sure about sharing the sleeping arrangements so made sure I had a thorough bath and spruce up beforehand. I was indignant about that but by the end of bath time she was as wet as me so we both had a spruce up!

We travelled to Wiltshire, stopping alongside a snake of a waterway. It was here I learnt that one is not allowed to dive into the canal but must walk sedately alongside while viewing all the longboat people who live on it. The Mrs walks me every morning and as each place is new there are a myriad of new smells to investigate and new people to meet.

This little walk along a ridge high above the canal was littered with many holes which I think were made by badgers looking for worms. Either there was a shortage of worms or they were very hungry as the number of holes in evidence was phenomenal. The Mrs had to be careful not to fall in one - which leads me to my grand misdemeanour when I inadvertently tangled my lead around her legs and tripped her up. Boy, was I in the dog house for that, especially as her best glasses got broken in the process. I am currently trying very hard to regain my position in her best books by being very sweet and good but I am not sure it will work until she gets her new glasses and can see my exemplary behaviour……

MARCH 2026

 Me and my mate Teddy.  Teddy and I went on another week’s holiday alone, staying with my girlfriends and I am happy to tell you that this time Teddy came back without a scratch on him.  I spent a most enjoyable week playing with their toys, being chased around the garden and then turning tail and chasing them back, or just running for the pleasure of it, something I never do with the Mrs….  While the Boss and the Mrs were sunning themselves on sunny shores I stayed home and was treated like royalty and presented with a new basket and bed with a soft insert and an elegant new mat to lay on. Although the Boss said they had nice sunbeds to lay on during their week abroad, I went one better and came home with mine – something they apparently were not allowed to do.  I wonder who got the best deal?

FEBRUARY 2026

 Dreaming of sunshine

This was me last summer when I was having a little snooze in the sunshine after running around like a mad thing and rolling in the dry grass.   I remember it was so hot that I had to eventually move into the shade.

 I hesitate to attach any type of animal sense to my playmate Bun-Buns as she is a stuffed toy, but as you can see, she somehow had the sense to lay in the shade from the get go.  The lawn was more like a field of cut hay and was a delight to roll in, scrunching and scratching when I wriggled about.  However the Mrs was not so happy when I traipsed bits of straw indoors with me. Bun-Buns got the order of the boot as well so we both ended up outside again.  I was only allowed in after a good brushing and Bun-Buns received an almighty shaking – poor thing, I am surprised she didn’t lose some of her stuffing, but like me and my playmates – we are made of sterner stuff.

JANUARY 2026

It’s nice to be included - the Mrs bought crackers that were themed for the twelve days of Christmas. The family arrived, all eleven of them, so I made up the twelfth. I also received a portion of turkey, lots of cuddles from the family, an exciting game of chase with my visiting canine girlfriends, and a new bone from the Boss which I have already buried in the garden……

I hope your Christmas was happy and your family safe and well. Happy New Year to you all and thank you for reading my blog.

https://beauregardsdogblog.blogspot.com/

 

DECEMBER 2025

A warning: the contents herein may be of a macabre nature and cause distress.  If this happens please consult your best friend for some consolation...........

You may remember me mentioning that I had a new companion to play with - Teddy.  He was perfect until earlier in the year when he and I went to stay with one of my girlfriends for a few days while the Boss & Mrs went on holiday without me!  My newest girlfriend insisted on investigating the innards of my teddy.  By the time I managed to retrieve him she had destroyed his beauty, removing his glass eyes and instigated an appendectomy.  

She was eventually forgiven as she was only young at the time and not in complete control of her exuberance but it rankled with the Mrs who was not keen on continuously viewing a discombobulated teddy.  The Mrs was also perturbed by some of his insides floating around the house, so eventually she took it upon herself to find some soft velvet material to heal teddy’s hurts and return him to his dignified status.  Hence “Bandit Teddy” evolved and I can play with him again knowing that I can be his guide-dog and his insides are safely contained and not spilling out during our games...

Since this amazing recuperative needlework the floodgates have opened with the Boss suggesting the Mrs could perhaps resurrect some of his old socks with a bit of darning or turn a few collars on his favourite work shirts – to my knowledge these items have been discretely removed from his wardrobe with a quiet comment on the unlikelihood of this ever happening.  I blame Teddy! .....

In this photo I have his foot secured in my soft mouth with my paw holding down his leg so that he cannot escape.  Since wearing his Zorro mask he has become a bit of a rogue so I have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t wander off and also to protect him from marauding girlfriends…

NOVEMBER 2025

 

A dog can dream……of strange playmates, friendly girlfriends, exciting ball games, chewy bones, delicious dinners, golden horses…..Wait…Horses?  It’s funny what can suddenly pop up in your dreams – even daydreams. I dreamt of heavy horses being walked past our house dressed in all their finery; of seeing them in nearby fields on our walks, grazing or chasing each other in play.  I am snoozing and dreaming of running through the green grass with my friends, my paws hitting the turf in a rhythm that makes my limbs twitch and my dream seems so real that my bark lets out little chirps and grumbles.  This is when I usually get a prod from the Mrs and my full on gambol through the field stumbles into the reality of laying on the floor in the living room interfering with the hearing ability of the Boss watching his favourite sport on the TV.  “Quiet” says the Mrs with a calming stroke, “you were dreaming, making noises and twitching”.  I roll over, sleepily semi-conscious and find a cool place to rest my muzzle falling back into my dream while thinking to myself, no, I was running with golden horses, streaming through the air, flying in the wind, my ears flapping in the breeze as I chase across the grass………I open one eye as the Boss suddenly shouts “Yes” as the little white ball on the TV rolls over the green, bypassing the guy holding the flag, and falls neatly into the hole…..

OCTOBER 2025

I hope you all had a good summer.  I traveled a lot and swam a lot.  This summer I also sunbathed and as you can see – I have a lovely tan….

It was good to explore my second home again, sniffing all the boundaries and playing with my other toys that I had forgotten about.  I did slip away once as I picked up an enticing scent on the air which my instincts told me belonged to a lady dog who might welcome a bit of company. However, I was not successful and my escapade ended with an impromptu meeting of all the French neighbours in our little hamlet, instead of my dream of a romantic interlude. After travelling around the immediate area with my nose in the air trying to catch that scent I hadn’t gone very far when I heard voices calling. Unfortunately my French is a bit limited and I didn’t understand that they were calling me.   When I was eventually collared by Monsieur Louis and his wife Yvonne who trotted me towards home we came across all the neighbours who had been out looking for me – I didn’t realise I was so popular!  The Boss and the Mrs were relieved to see me and I had to sit and wait while they all had a jolly good chinwag.   Alas I never did find the lady dog with the enticing perfume – that’s why I probably look a bit sad in this photo…….

 

SEPTEMBER 2025

Football – one of my favourite games.  I am very attached to my football, so much so that even when the Mrs plays footy with me I don’t willingly let go of the ball.  She has tried to tackle me when she thinks I am not looking only to be disappointed when I pounce quickly and snatch the ball from her carefully aimed kick just before it makes contact.  Once clenched in my jaws she finds it very difficult to get it off me with the normal rules of football and often has to resort to devious means with another ball to play with, a chance to retrieve teddy from where he has been lobbed or, on the rare occasion, with a biscuit treat……….I must admit I have fallen for the latter on the odd occasion….

Having watched football many times on the TV with the Boss, among every other game involving a ball that he watches, I have learnt some mean moves.  Keepy Uppy is a trifle difficult sometimes but I have finessed the art of throwing the ball in the air.  Sometimes I can catch it and occasionally score a volley, but with others I chase it madly around the garden until I can clamp it with my paw and throw it up again.  The Boss will pass me an assist but then calls me a poacher or fox in the box when I retrieve the ball from the penalty area, namely the Mrs’s flower beds.  Mostly I play defender to stop the Mrs from getting the ball and making a chip shot over my head.  Sometimes she does a dummy run to try and fool me but I’ve yet to see her do a bicycle kick……. 
 

AUGUST 2025

Me enjoying a swim and retrieving my stick.
 

JULY 2025

Just call me a water baby.  I love the water and I love retrieving.  Most mornings include a trip to the lake.  Before my dip I enjoy helping to feed the fish.  I do this by finding and eating all the morsels dropped by the Mrs as she throws it into the water.  For a second I feel empathy with the fish as they go berserk, so excited by the thought of food.  Back on dry land I suspect she purposely drops bits for me to find on the grassy bank so I don’t try to jump in and wrestle the fish for it.  Then we walk round the lake looking at flora and fauna and I wait patiently while she keeps stopping to take photos.  Eventually we return to a quiet section away from the fish feeding station and again I wait patiently while the Mrs does a search for a suitably sized stick and lobs it into the water for me to retrieve. 

If you’ve seen my blog on the square box thingy you’ll have seen a shot of my spectacular diving technique.   Once launched and the enormous splash fades I lift my head above water checking to see where the stick landed, then I strike out to retrieve it.  With my paws extended I boost the webbing between my toes giving me extra pulling power, snatch it from the surface and swim back to shore.  This is the part where the Mrs will stand well back from me.  All I want to do is give her the stick so she can throw it in again but the more I advance, the more she retreats.  Eventually I give up and drop the stick to do my whole body shimmer shake which rids my coat of most of the excess water giving me a lighter running weight.  I look round to find the Mrs and give her the stick but she is standing well away from the droplet flying zone.  What is it with her and water – she’s exactly the same when it falls from the sky.  Me, I love it, the wetter the better……

 

JUNE 2025

Helping with the hydrangeas.   I thought I was just being helpful but the Mrs did not share the same feelings.  She was busy dead heading all the hydrangeas.  Apparently, it is advisable to leave the old blooms on until old Jack Frost has stopped visiting as they protect the tender new shoots, or in this case when you return to the garden they are growing in and have the time and energy to remove them.  That is what is happening now, the Mrs moves among the many hydrangea plants and systematically removes the old blooms and placing them in the wheelbarrow behind her.  I secretly assist by delicately lifting each bloom in my mouth and removing them to a pile nearby thus emptying the wheelbarrow to allow her to add more old blooms.  After a while she becomes suspicious that she is able to add so many to the wheelbarrow without filling it.  At this point she looks behind her to find my helpful emptying technique has resulted in a pile of blooms with me in the middle.  She was a little exasperated but managed to smile at my help, however I was banned from removing anything further from the wheelbarrow, no matter how helpful I thought I was being.  Sometimes my assistance is just not required!
 

APRIL

Smelling the flowers.  The Mrs is trying to educate me as to what smells nice in the hope that I can improve my hygiene which will in turn improve my aroma.  The Boss thinks she is far too fussy and he says my aroma is fine. 

This aroma teaching thing could take a while because there are a lot of flowers blooming as the garden is bursting into flower due to the sunny days we have been having.  The grass has also been cut and I am discovering where a lot of my toys have been hiding in the secret corners of the garden.  I have taken to rolling on the newly cut grass to get that lovely mown grass smell into my coat. 

My coat….that’s another minor thing the Mrs keeps on about.   As soon as the sun came out my coat seems to be diminishing, in fact much of it is coating the floor instead of me.  That noisy suction machine which the Mrs loves so much follows me around nearly every day pinching all my fur.  I have to vacate the room in search of a safe haven in case I eventually disappear inside it.  Goodness knows what it wants all my fur for…..it will soon have the same aroma as me, he he.

 

MARCH

You will notice I am holding Teddy by the arm.  This avoids any worries the Mrs might have if I hold him by the ears or the foot.  She thinks they may be torn off by accident if I play too roughly with him.  I hasten to add that she is misguided in her belief I would hurt him…..he is my best friend and I would not damage him, even though he does get flung around a bit.  He changes his scent regularly and I am suspicious of the Mrs confiscating him occasionally and heading to her den where the washing machine is housed.  He is always returned to me bright and fluffy but his scent is different and it takes a lot of cuddles, playing and licking to get him back to his familiar scent – very much like mine……something I don’t think the Mrs is very fond of…..

There do seem to be a lot of baths recently, which I don’t mind.  I jump in the bath with alacrity waiting for the shower to be sprayed over me and then a special doggy shower gel is rubbed all over.  I have learnt to balance on three legs while lifting one helpfully while the Mrs cleans the unmentionables.  Then comes the rinsing shower again and finally I am allowed to shake but only if the shower curtain is drawn across hiding me from view.  I am instructed to jump out of the bath tub and on to a towel while another is draped over me.  This is a game I love and I can wriggle and shake with the best.  The Mrs has trouble keeping me covered and I love the drying session with the towel before I am let out to show the Boss my new clean coat.  He lets me snooze by the fire with Teddy until I am dry and I dream of spending the next few weeks playing and cuddling with Teddy so we can retrieve our own personal scents again……. 

 

FEBRUARY

Please can we go for a walk now…… I’ve waited patiently for the snooker to finish (I must say I am a bit flummoxed by all those balls, and how they disappear down holes - very similar to rabbits).  We could squeeze in a nice walk before the darts start or we could do an even longer walk before the golf starts……

The Mrs helps me by explaining to the Boss that “the dog wants to go for a walk” at which point he jumps up with alacrity and immediately finds his boots and coat.  If you believe this you are more gullible than I gave you credit for….. 

Luckily he needs to collect more wood for the fire and I am a champ at helping with that so we do eventually get the buggy out and go for a good run.  I assist by foraging for logs and chunks of wood which he loads into the buggy.  However after a few forages into the pile I get a bit bored and start to investigate other scents around the area.  There is an interesting smell coming from the back of the wood pile but I am restrained from further excavation by a call on the whistle.  The wood collection is over and it’s time to go home to dinner and more sport, that is unless the Mrs has hidden the flicker and is watching  what she wants to watch for a change…….I am afraid I am on the Boss’s side – anything involving a ball holds my attention!

 

DECEMBER / JANUARY 2025

I wish a Happy New Year to you all with plenty of food and a lot of walks.

Christmas was a very happy family affair here and I am pleased to say I had a little playmate to share the day with. Cookie the Border Terrier came over. We have a love/hate relationship. I love her and she hates me but I am immune as I don’t believe anyone can hate me as I am so lovable. Here I am just trying to rip the wrapping from my Christmas present which turned out to be a tasty chew in the shape of a bone. I said my thankyous in the time honoured way with a big lick and a wagging tail and an immediate devouring of my delicious gift before Cookie found it. In roughly 10 seconds I had scarfed the lot and it was delicious. I began rummaging through the myriad wrappings scattered over the entire floor in case Cookie had been given one which she may have mislaid…. Nothing doing, apparently she had eaten hers too but happily there seemed to be some turkey left which was donated to my dish and also tasted as good as the gift. The Boss received some soft suede slippers trimmed inside with sheep skin which I quite envied but after a good perusal I decided my sleek fur paws with their hardy pads and sophisticated black nails were far superior, especially as I can keep them on all the time – no need for this constant change of footwear.

I sometimes hear the Mrs exclaiming about footwear the Boss has on indoors – especially if he has just come in from the garden without changing them! Luckily my paws seem to be self-cleaning as I never leave dirty footprints on the floor – at least I don’t think so…….

It must be such a drag having to have so many different pairs of footwear and having to make decisions all the time on which pair to put on. I often hear the Boss asking the Mrs if she needs to have quite so many to choose from, but she says it is quite necessary – as necessary as it is for him to have four pairs of wellington boots…… I gaze into his eyes, telepathically telling him to discontinue that conversation! At least they only have two feet to worry about – I count my lucky stars that I don’t need any at all - can you imagine four of everything.

NOVEMBER 2024

No I am not begging, that is not allowed – I am merely waiting patiently for the Mrs to cut the rind off her cheese.  For some reason she does not eat that part and as a special treat I am allowed to be the chief taster…..

I am sitting on the wall that the Boss built around the new front patio and it is just the right level to view the table top which holds the cheese along with the rest of the lunch. The Mrs continually tries to train me to say cheese but so far the lips, larynx and tongue do not cooperate for it to be pronounced by me, but the word is well known in my mind.  I fact sometimes at lunch time I cannot get the word cheese out of my mind until the rind is removed and donated.

There are other words that I know which I have to obey like “Come”, “Sit”, “No” “Bed” “Lay Down”, “Stay”.  There are also words which the Mrs uses with a sniff…..“Stinky” is one of them and when uttered I have to quietly leave the room until the Boss calls me back and says I don’t!!  He is worried I may get a phobia so I know I am good for a pat and a stroke from him if the stinky word comes out!

The Boss and Mrs use many, many words between themselves and sometimes I catch on to what is being discussed but mostly with my limited vocabulary my instinct kicks in and I do what dogs do – eat, sleep and enjoy life, especially when “Cheese” is on the scene.