APRIL

Smelling the flowers.  The Mrs is trying to educate me as to what smells nice in the hope that I can improve my hygiene which will in turn improve my aroma.  The Boss thinks she is far too fussy and he says my aroma is fine. 

This aroma teaching thing could take a while because there are a lot of flowers blooming as the garden is bursting into flower due to the sunny days we have been having.  The grass has also been cut and I am discovering where a lot of my toys have been hiding in the secret corners of the garden.  I have taken to rolling on the newly cut grass to get that lovely mown grass smell into my coat. 

My coat….that’s another minor thing the Mrs keeps on about.   As soon as the sun came out my coat seems to be diminishing, in fact much of it is coating the floor instead of me.  That noisy suction machine which the Mrs loves so much follows me around nearly every day pinching all my fur.  I have to vacate the room in search of a safe haven in case I eventually disappear inside it.  Goodness knows what it wants all my fur for…..it will soon have the same aroma as me, he he.

 

MARCH

You will notice I am holding Teddy by the arm.  This avoids any worries the Mrs might have if I hold him by the ears or the foot.  She thinks they may be torn off by accident if I play too roughly with him.  I hasten to add that she is misguided in her belief I would hurt him…..he is my best friend and I would not damage him, even though he does get flung around a bit.  He changes his scent regularly and I am suspicious of the Mrs confiscating him occasionally and heading to her den where the washing machine is housed.  He is always returned to me bright and fluffy but his scent is different and it takes a lot of cuddles, playing and licking to get him back to his familiar scent – very much like mine……something I don’t think the Mrs is very fond of…..

There do seem to be a lot of baths recently, which I don’t mind.  I jump in the bath with alacrity waiting for the shower to be sprayed over me and then a special doggy shower gel is rubbed all over.  I have learnt to balance on three legs while lifting one helpfully while the Mrs cleans the unmentionables.  Then comes the rinsing shower again and finally I am allowed to shake but only if the shower curtain is drawn across hiding me from view.  I am instructed to jump out of the bath tub and on to a towel while another is draped over me.  This is a game I love and I can wriggle and shake with the best.  The Mrs has trouble keeping me covered and I love the drying session with the towel before I am let out to show the Boss my new clean coat.  He lets me snooze by the fire with Teddy until I am dry and I dream of spending the next few weeks playing and cuddling with Teddy so we can retrieve our own personal scents again……. 

 

FEBRUARY

Please can we go for a walk now…… I’ve waited patiently for the snooker to finish (I must say I am a bit flummoxed by all those balls, and how they disappear down holes - very similar to rabbits).  We could squeeze in a nice walk before the darts start or we could do an even longer walk before the golf starts……

The Mrs helps me by explaining to the Boss that “the dog wants to go for a walk” at which point he jumps up with alacrity and immediately finds his boots and coat.  If you believe this you are more gullible than I gave you credit for….. 

Luckily he needs to collect more wood for the fire and I am a champ at helping with that so we do eventually get the buggy out and go for a good run.  I assist by foraging for logs and chunks of wood which he loads into the buggy.  However after a few forages into the pile I get a bit bored and start to investigate other scents around the area.  There is an interesting smell coming from the back of the wood pile but I am restrained from further excavation by a call on the whistle.  The wood collection is over and it’s time to go home to dinner and more sport, that is unless the Mrs has hidden the flicker and is watching  what she wants to watch for a change…….I am afraid I am on the Boss’s side – anything involving a ball holds my attention!

 

DECEMBER / JANUARY 2025

I wish a Happy New Year to you all with plenty of food and a lot of walks.

Christmas was a very happy family affair here and I am pleased to say I had a little playmate to share the day with. Cookie the Border Terrier came over. We have a love/hate relationship. I love her and she hates me but I am immune as I don’t believe anyone can hate me as I am so lovable. Here I am just trying to rip the wrapping from my Christmas present which turned out to be a tasty chew in the shape of a bone. I said my thankyous in the time honoured way with a big lick and a wagging tail and an immediate devouring of my delicious gift before Cookie found it. In roughly 10 seconds I had scarfed the lot and it was delicious. I began rummaging through the myriad wrappings scattered over the entire floor in case Cookie had been given one which she may have mislaid…. Nothing doing, apparently she had eaten hers too but happily there seemed to be some turkey left which was donated to my dish and also tasted as good as the gift. The Boss received some soft suede slippers trimmed inside with sheep skin which I quite envied but after a good perusal I decided my sleek fur paws with their hardy pads and sophisticated black nails were far superior, especially as I can keep them on all the time – no need for this constant change of footwear.

I sometimes hear the Mrs exclaiming about footwear the Boss has on indoors – especially if he has just come in from the garden without changing them! Luckily my paws seem to be self-cleaning as I never leave dirty footprints on the floor – at least I don’t think so…….

It must be such a drag having to have so many different pairs of footwear and having to make decisions all the time on which pair to put on. I often hear the Boss asking the Mrs if she needs to have quite so many to choose from, but she says it is quite necessary – as necessary as it is for him to have four pairs of wellington boots…… I gaze into his eyes, telepathically telling him to discontinue that conversation! At least they only have two feet to worry about – I count my lucky stars that I don’t need any at all - can you imagine four of everything.

NOVEMBER 2024

No I am not begging, that is not allowed – I am merely waiting patiently for the Mrs to cut the rind off her cheese.  For some reason she does not eat that part and as a special treat I am allowed to be the chief taster…..

I am sitting on the wall that the Boss built around the new front patio and it is just the right level to view the table top which holds the cheese along with the rest of the lunch. The Mrs continually tries to train me to say cheese but so far the lips, larynx and tongue do not cooperate for it to be pronounced by me, but the word is well known in my mind.  I fact sometimes at lunch time I cannot get the word cheese out of my mind until the rind is removed and donated.

There are other words that I know which I have to obey like “Come”, “Sit”, “No” “Bed” “Lay Down”, “Stay”.  There are also words which the Mrs uses with a sniff…..“Stinky” is one of them and when uttered I have to quietly leave the room until the Boss calls me back and says I don’t!!  He is worried I may get a phobia so I know I am good for a pat and a stroke from him if the stinky word comes out!

The Boss and Mrs use many, many words between themselves and sometimes I catch on to what is being discussed but mostly with my limited vocabulary my instinct kicks in and I do what dogs do – eat, sleep and enjoy life, especially when “Cheese” is on the scene.

 

OCTOBER 2024

Caught napping!  Sometimes I just need some down time and the Boss and Mrs readily agree that the idea is a good one and I should just lie down and close my eyes for a while.  Sometimes if I open one eye I spot them taking the opportunity to do the same.  Here I am snoozing with my favourite toy Bun-Buns – a bit of a baby name for her but then I am still under three and entitled to a playful childhood. 

Once Bun-Buns was mistaken for a real live rabbit sitting in the far corner of the field and cries of excitement were heard from new friends who hadn’t seen her before and didn’t realise she was my plaything. She happened to be sitting in a very lifelike pose where I had flung her and, when I barreled forwards, pounced and threw her in the air ready for more play, screams of distress were heard until I brought her back to show them. Giggles and sighs of relief were heard all round after they realised she was my stuffed toy.

I was a little shocked that they thought I would treat game in that manner, after all I am trained!  I retrieve, fetch and carry all game carefully and deposit it at the Boss’s feet without damage.  Bun-Buns is a bit of light relief, a jolly good playmate and a soft cushion when I need a bit of shut eye. 

 

SEPTEMBER 2024

The things a dog has to do!  The Mrs has been at the brushes again – the ones on sticks that I am not allowed to chew! 

My dearest French friend Frédéric (commonly known as Frédo) (pronounced Fraydoh) invited us all to watch the combine harvester cut the field of corn belonging to his family.  In fact we all turned out, our visitors, his family and Frédo, being inordinately keen on big machines of any sort – tractors, harvesters, balers, etc – you get the picture – asked the Mrs is she would do another painting for him - of the “batteuse”.  This will be a gift to say thank you for all the friendship and generosity his family shows us, me included.  She has previously completed paintings of himself, his tractor, his log splitter, the family dog and their house.   All the family work on farms or with wood and I recognise the sound of his tractor coming up the road now, so I know when to look out for him and get a friendly pat. 

The Mrs takes a few days to complete the painting and I helped, of course, by jogging her occasionally when I felt she had been sitting too long in the same position.  She knows I am right and reluctantly leaves the easel for a stretch and a bit of playing with me and my favourite tennis ball.   She wants a photo of her work so gets her own back for my jogging her by getting me to sit very still for quite some time so she can lean it against me in the best light by the window and take a snap.   I think I look quite handsome, the combine's not too bad and Frédo was so pleased with his painting he gave me extra pats.